I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.Note:If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,one note of caution:There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the. Erm . . . why don't I do it foryou?" mom falling over her words from embarrassment of what she had offeredto do to me."What do you mean mom?" I asked mom not sure I heard her properly."You know . . . why don't I wank you off? Don't get me wrong Mat it's notsomething a mom should do to their own son is it? and after you're out ofyour casts I'd stop it right away, but I can do it while you're unable to, so long as you promise me you don't tell anyone about this"Completely gobsmacked from mom's candor and offer."You sure mom?" I replied not believing my luck."Yes Mat, just don't let anyone find out, I'll get sent to hell otherwise."Accepting mom's offer mom switched off the shower then turned me around and led further up the other end of the bath to where the shower door was then opened it. Keeping her hands on me still nervous about me falling over mom sat herself on the edge of the bath with her legs still inside."Stand astride Mat will you, then you can look at my fanny and bust,.
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