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"For getting me away and into this beauty," she says, "and also for being my best friend." She kisses my back as she says this and I can't stop the little shudder that passes through my body. It's not the first time she has kissed me. We've kissed before, never on the lips, but this was something different. I pull away from her just enough to turn around in her arms."Meg, you don't need to thank me for being your best friend. You make it very easy, babe, but since you already did I get to do the same. Thank you, Meghan, for being my best friend and for coming here with me." I kiss her on the cheek. She looks at me with that same funny look on her face, the same one I saw the same night we had planned this trip. It's bothering me that I can't figure it out, but again I let it go."Let's get unpacked," I suggest, breaking the hug since I'm not sure what exactly is going on.We spend the next half hour unloading our suitcases and organizing the bathroom. Meg's stomach growls and we both. .In my case the ultimate cause of this masochism was inadequate fathering.My dad was an iron worker and I remember him mostly being too tired to doanything with us boys (except, significantly, the occasional spanking). Somany of the skills I needed to function socially as a boy (i.e. learn tothrow a ball, learn to ride a bike) I had to do the best I could on my own.When a cousin or a pal would help me learn these things, I would end uphaving a crush on him (what I really needed was a dad). Since spankingswere one type of interaction my dad did do, I ended up making this powerdisplay a central theme in my adult fantasy life. I thought that somehow,if my dad really whipped me hard (which he never did) it would somehow"make a man out of me."In the early sixties it was still common for dads to whip their sons inworking-class neighborhoods. I remember hearing a k** down the streetreally "getting it" from his dad, on more than one occasion, who used arazor strop on his boys out in the.
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