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Chuck Norris has no mother, as crawling out of a vagina is unbecoming of a man of his stature. Chuck Norris spontaneously came into existence on Karl Marx’s birthday. This was no accident since Chuck Norris is the polar opposite of communism’s yin, and the very thought of communism makes Chuck Norris Want to puke.Chuck Norris Defender of FreedomChuck Norris has fought in every American war including the American Revolution, The War of the Worlds, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Black Hawk Down, World War 1, World War 2, Red Dawn, American Civil War, the Iran-Iraq war (on both sides simultaneously), and the War on d**gs. The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when Chuck Norris gets tired of Whiskey or steel wool, he’ll eat. "I'm afraid the restaurant seems to be closed, though. Would you like—?" I'm being met," I said. "Thanks." I got out, and off he drove.It was only about a minute later that another car drove up to me. Not the car they'd had in Charleston, either they'd ditched that one or they had others. When the driver's window rolled down "Joe Smith" looked out at me."Get in," he said briefly, nodding to the front passenger seat. I did as I was told.We drove only a couple of hundred feet around to the back of the closed restaurant."OK, get out," he said, turning off the ignition. He pocketed the key. Again I did as I was told; he got out on his side. He pointed to an area between the restaurant wall and its dumpster, and I walked there."Strip," he said. I'd been right, my clothes were staying behind."I have this," I told him, pulling a DVD disk in a paper sleeve out of my pocket.He frowned. "Carlos told you not to bring anything," he said."If Carlos wants what he told me, I need it," I.
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