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" Gina cracked a tiny smile and looked calmly into Miranda's eyes for a reaction. "I realised I was gay."Miranda took a long, long drink of vodka and Coke and tried not to look shocked. She obviously failed, as Gina laughed loudly."Don't worry, I'm not planning to seduce you tonight, I just thought it might help if I explained what I went through." Miranda tried not to think about the significance of that word 'tonight', and sat back to listen. As Gina described how she had lied to herself, her family and her friends from her adolescence, through her teenage relationships, trying to convince herself her 'perverted' desires would pass like a phase. She really did love her husband, but when she allowed herself to be seduced by the keynote speaker at a women designer's conference, she knew her life would never be the same, and told her husband that it was over.Two things happened as Gina told her tale. Firstly, Miranda began to forgive Jamie, realising the pain he must have been going. Iwould be totally numb in a bit anyway. I was a freak in a society wherebeing a freak meant that people laughed at you. My other hand slippedbetween my legs, feeling what I had become, then in a fit of anger, Ithrew the phone at the wall. Just as it bounced and hit the bed, myparents came rushing into the room. My father grabbed the gun, placinghis finger between the hammer and the bullet, then took it away from mewith almost no effort while I curled into a ball sobbing. I heard thedoor shut as mom reached over to stroke my hair, then she made me look ather. Those soft blue eyes of hers locked on mine, reaching deep into thewell of love I had for her. I sat up and grabbed her, hugging her tightlyas I once again broke into uncontrollable sobs. She held me withoutsaying anything, waiting until I had exhausted my tears. Without a wordshe threw some blankets over me, watching as I drifted into a dreadfulsleep filled with what I saw as the horrors of my predicament.When I awoke I saw my.
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