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" I think so and so does Jordan. You would too. (If I let you see it.)Well, what I want to tell you is about my stupid brother. To be honest, he was a great pain the butt when younger but recently he's becoming a little more tolerable. Especially after the incident I'm about to tell you.It was a Tuesday afternoon and I'd been home from school for about a half hour. I'd changed into comfy clothes (after running to take a pee, its the second thing I do when I get home) and had come downstairs. I was passing by the dining room, when I noticed Matt sitting in front of the computer (yeah, Mom has it in the dining room, don't ask me why) and his arm is moving in a way highly suggestive of jacking-off.Now, I've never seen a guy masturbate before (Jordan and I have better things to do, like each other) but there wasn't much doubt. I quietly walked up behind him (yes, he was engrossed) and looked at the monitor.Humongus boobs bouncing up and down on this bleached blond as she's attempting to. Instead of admitting defeat, our plucky parents decided to try again. This time our visitor was a surly, mannish-looking Swede named Gertrude. When she wasn't in school, Gertrude stayed in her room most of the time, refusing to even attempt to assimilate herself into our culture. I told my sister that some family back in Norway was probably very glad to get rid of their morose and depressing daughter for a year.But, two strikes isn't an out, as our ever-optimistic dad likes to say, so our parents stepped up to the plate again and took another swing. Their timing couldn't have been worse. One thing we didn't need just then was more disruption in our family. The relationship between Elise and myself had been getting worse over the last few months, more than just normal sibling rivalry. It could have been described as dysfunctional at best, and close to homicidal at worst. Elise was seventeen, with cover-girl looks and the morals of a porn star. How she kept her active sex life hidden.
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