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" I thought for a second, Mindy was going to cry. "Gordon came; easily. A few minutes, he came again. Easily. I never got close. The week before Christmas, we did it again. He came, and then he came again. I didn't get close. On New Year's Eve, the same thing."I nodded, finding I wanted to punch this clueless Gordon moron in the nose. "That night Gordon told me he didn't want to go out with me any more, because I just laid there, I didn't care about him." Did you?" The question seemed to take her by surprise."I thought I did. I don't know. Does it matter? Most girls come when a boy is in her." That's not what I've heard," I told her. "I don't know all that many girls well enough to have talked about how it is with other guys, but I've heard that if neither the girl nor the boy know anything, the first few times can be bad. Or worse." Really?" I nodded. She smiled shyly. "But I mean, I didn't get close at all." Do you masturbate?" Again the question surprised her; Mindy blushed. "Do. When ever I meet someone new I automatically say ‘What’ll ya have?’ I’ve gotten a lot of funny looks from people until I tell them what I do for a living. The interesting part of my profession is that I DO get treated as a professional. When I took my first bartending job, I had no idea that I would automatically achieve the same stature as a doctor, lawyer, or accountant, even among the members of those professions! Not only that, but on a good night I can make one-tenth of what they make without the worry of support staff, errors and omissions, or professional liability. I even helped console some of the jurors in the OJ case. They took a lot of consoling. As most professional barkeeps know, the most closely related profession is lay-psychiatrist, followed closely by detective. I’ve always thought that experienced barkeeps should automatically be accepted as inspectors for the Department of Weights and Measures, but our bosses made a pretty good argument that we did not really know.
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