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I threw out the bag & ignored alex for days. But I STILL cleaned her cat box.I don't know why it affected me so. I'm not a pervert!!! I so was disgusted with myself AND alex!!! I don't know who I HATED more... But at least I cleaned her kittie poop with a granet smile. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of letting her know her plan had worked and that me & jeff were quits!!!!! Alex STILL treats me like a stupid child though!Weeks later jeff apologized and said it was all alex's fault! We never spoke of that night again. And thankfully alex backed off too! I was still upset & angry that alex & her poop were getting me so... Well... Excited.It was disgusting, but true!How can anything who makes me so repulsed, wind up getting me so turned on?Same with alex.But the REALLY weird thing is, the stupider she treats me, the dumber I seem to get! Her expectation that I'll fail, seems to insure that I screw SOMETHING up EVERY TIME! And when I make a mistake in front of her, even THAT gets me. You see at least for a woman, the fashion lifestyle doesn't last very long, there's always someone younger or hotter, or just different coming along. Seniority doesn't bring you respect it just makes you old. So in my late twenties, I was no longer the darling of the magazines and the runways, I was just another model. Eric on the other hand was still in great demand. There were some clients that he would only take if they used me as their model or spokesperson. It was his way of helping me to stretch my career out longer, but I was too wrapped up in my own hype to see it then.The reality was that I was getting fewer and fewer jobs, and making less and less money every year. But Eric's experience and ability to get the shot and get it from a completely original perspective seemed to only get better with age and experience. That's funny isn't it, an experienced photographer gets better and better, but an experienced model is just old.Eric had been making some noise for the last couple.
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