Let me see your arm, Lucy.” With a shrug, I pulled up the sleeve of my sweater, avoiding her eyes as I glanced down at my forearm, suddenly seeing myself through her eyes, the needle marks, some fresh, making it obvious what I was. A junkie. Embarrassed, I started to turn, suddenly realizing that I wouldn’t be welcome, surprised when I felt her fingers gripping my wrist with unbelievable strength. “Why?” she asked, her voice gentle. It wasn’t rhetorical and I sensed that my answer was important. So, instead of the flippant words that were on my tongue, I took a deep breath, turned, and met her gaze. “It’s the only thing that makes me feel better. When I shoot up, it’s the only time in my life I don’t hurt.” I felt her grip loosen, but not release. Instead, she surprised me. “Come in. Let’s get you cleaned up.” She fussed over me. It felt nice. Something my mom would have done had she not been so busy getting high. Like mother like daughter, right? She undressed me, her lips tight,. She was seeing someone behind Hunter's back, she said that she was tired of waiting for him to come back. She wanted to have kids some day, and she wouldn't want them with Hunter if he kept leaving for months on end. I understood, but the next part I thought was crazy, she wanted my whole family to lie in his face about she died in the crash. At first I thought she was crazy but at the same time I guess it would be better to tell him that she died then to tell him she left for someone else."I sat there, stunned. I re-read and re-read that passage, over and over again thinking I was dreaming and hoping I would wake up at any moment. That moment never came. I dropped the notebook and leaned back, starring at the blank TV screen with the faint reflection of me. I was my emotions were mixed together into a feeling that I never felt before. I walked into Samantha's room and put her Diary back, I decided to walk it off and be back before Samantha got home.**I got home around 2:55, I wasn't.
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