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The waitress sighed. "I see a man in drag who is absolutely convinced he'sa victim. He thinks he's downtrodden, oppressed, wounded, wronged, andleft in the gutter to die. And he desperately wants credit for that. I seea martyr in the making. You want someone to feel sorry for you, thenthat's all you're ever going to be -- a sorry excuse for a human being.Playing the pity game is usually a pretty self-fulfilling prophecy ...eventually you become just as pitiful as you want to be." You said you wouldn't be harsh," sighed the woman."Forgive me," said the waitress impatiently. "It's been a long night andmaybe I'm getting too tired to adequately sugarcoat my observations." No, you were right the first time," answered the woman. "And see that'sjust it. Even as a martyr, I really don't fit in. Yeah, I know I'm provingyour point for you. But listen: I'm such a loser in the game of life, Ican't even martyr myself properly. Hell, could you see a bust of me insome hallowed hall of fame? You. But this was Saturday nightwhich means it was time to hang with my Hispanic friends Jose Cuervoand his wild sister Little Margaret. Nothing says P-A-R-T-Y like agood old fashioned kick you in the ass salty Margarita.Dennis and I worked our way to a booth. Everyone there was already dancingand having a ball. But I have my party routine.While I'm sipping Margarita number one I am little Miss Chatty Cathy.Tell me about your family,what you're into, your dreams, what turns you on, what pisses you off, and along the way I'll tell you MY story.It turns out Dennis and Nick are 2nd cousins. (NO SHIT!) While Nick andBella are cousins on the other side of the family. (So I just banged the bosses' cousin while he watched, THAT's A NEW ONE!) Meanwhile Nick and the Hammer Man were lovers before Hammer became a super stud. (Get the fuck outta here!) But as of late Hammer's been taking off trying to do his ownthing. Nick let him get away with it once, when he did a film with some trannies.
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