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I often wondered if I should have been born a female because I have female tendencies. It started when I was in the military that I had my first encounter with a big dick. I was staying in a hotel in San mataya with a friend and we were invited to a party. I was surprised when we got there that there was only men there. There was an older guy his name was Russell. I was a young 19 and he and I got into quick conversation. As we talked I noticed his bulge in his pants,I grew curious about why he he looked horny. I asked him where the girls were,trying to take my mind off his pants so I wouldn't grow attention to myself. A lump grew in my throat when he told me that we were at a cock party. I looked at him as to look as if I didn't understand. He invited me to his room down the hall and I accepted his offer. Once inside his room my knees started to knock. I was nervous being there and I was never in this position . And my mind floods with these new thoughts: Jake, my writing, my photography, all the possibilities open to me. It's almost like a poor-sighted person trying on glasses for the first time. My view has drastically changed. ~~~July 4th, 9:00 pmAs I walk up the hill, he slowly comes into view. My pace quickens with my heart rate. Looking around, it is the same hill we were on the other day, but the flowers are more prolific, the grass is greener, and the air is lighter. It's like I am seeing my surroundings for the first time.He hears my footsteps and turns to me and stands. Our eyes meet and we just stare at each other in silence. I know he is waiting for my words. "I am free to love again," I whisper, then repeat, "I am free to love again," in a stronger voice."And what day is today?" he asks with a smile."Today is July 4th, 2020. I don't live in 2019 anymore." I pause before continuing, "You freed me." You freed yourself. The power was always yours, sweetness."With those words, he.
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