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" Hey back. Hug?" Hug. Mmmmmm."Long pause."Mmmmmm back. How ya been?" Good. You?" Missing you. Good to see you again." You too. Good to be back again. Got you a present! Here, happy day that ends in Y." Goof!" What, birthday ends in Y!" Aw, that's perfect! You always know what to get me." You're easy to buy for."Pause."I have got to be the luckiest man alive." How do you figure?" Well, I have a wife whom I love madly, and who loves me madly back, and..." ... and?" And ... I'm most likely the only guy in the world who gets to do this with you." No most likely about it." Why is that anyway?" Well, you're the only guy in the world who loves me." There's a laugh! Ninety per cent of Edmonton's male population would give their right testicles, and their grandmothers, just to enter a lottery to be where I am right now. And twenty per cent of the females." Goof back!" You're right, that doesn't quite work does it? The females don't have testicles. They could give their right ovaries then.". From the looks on their faces I was sure that they’d gotten a good flash of Nan’s boobs. ‘Hi,’ I replied loquaciously. ‘Hello, I’m Nan.’ She stuck out her hand to shake while supporting her modesty with her left arm. ‘I’m Jim.’ He shook her hand first. ‘I’m Bill. Pleased to meet you.’ The second one shook her hand while burning a hole in her covering with his eyeballs. ‘We were just relaxing and admiring the view after lunch,’ Nan said. ‘Have you boys eaten?’ Where had Nan’s deep Southern drawl suddenly come from? ‘Yes’m. I mean, No’m.’ Jim elbowed Bill to change the response. ‘What he means is that we had a little snack earlier, but not a lot.’ ‘Well, I just know that boys are always hungry. We have some apple left over. Would you like some?’ She turned and bent at the waist to pick up the remains of our lunch. I couldn’t see myself but I was sure the boys were getting a good look at the side and maybe underside of her right breast. I was looking at how her shorts tightened across.
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