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”“Is it? If it happens, the people won’t be abstractions, they’ll be real. Will I react this way every time? That doesn’t seem very reasonable on my part. Either it’s okay or it’s not.”“I promise I won’t do anything else like that around you from now on.”“No, no, it’s...” He rubbed his temple for a few moments. “No. Please don’t stop. Do whatever it is you feel like doing.”“But it upsets you.”“One of the things we don’t know about us is what it’s like to be together when it’s not just endless sex punctuated by food, wine, and a pathetically small amount of work. Part of yesterday’s talk was an attempt to amend that, though of course we ended talking about sex anyway. But if this is the person you want to be ... if this is the Kathryn I’m allegedly freeing to be who she really is ... then I need to see her. See you.” She nodded, her expression visibly torn between doubt and careful consideration. “There’s something else I’m trying to figure out, though. Why is this so important to you?. Back in Baltimore, she’d discovered that she was a selfish, controlling bitch, and that she’d pushed away the only man that had ever cared about her the way she’d wanted. The only man who had taken her shit again and again and come back for more. That realization had changed her somehow, softened her, made her more free and accessible. And that’s when she’d jumped on a plane to spend her last days with me.As the second of the three months drew to a close, Celeste started exhibiting changes. She would enter fugue states that would last up to an hour, and when she came out of them, she had no memory of ever having been gone. Entire hours vanished for her, and she had no memory of what’d had happened while she’d been away. Her vision started to deteriorate, and after examining a medical text on the matter, I concluded that she had less than three weeks to live.When she was lucid, Celeste and I spent as much time together as possible, making love constantly. We were hungry now, trying to.
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