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For some reason the brain seems to be sluggish as long as the clouds cover the sun. Perhaps that is just a metaphor for my marriage. For five years I have been married to a wonderful and talented, strong willed goddess. For the first three years sex wasn’t just sex, I used to call in sick to work just to stay home and in bed, or the kitchen, bathroom and ect… Then my wife miscarried and we were past devastated. Of course I threw myself into work. Staying late and stressing over new accounts seemed to be the only thing that would calm my aches. My wife didn’t work, I provided enough to live very well so she wouldn’t have to, and think that’s what hurt her the most. She had all the day to think about it and never healed. Halfway into the forth year and we were fighting everyday. I was never home, she never left the house and that amazing sex… stopped altogether. Finally one day my wife broke down. ‘Jon,’ words pushing through the sobs, ‘I can’t be here anymore.’ ‘What? How do you. I had looked all over the kitchen for it but never thought to look in the flower pot. I went back to the sofa and put the case on the coffee table next to the scotch. I filled my glass and took a big gulp. Then I picked the case up and opened it again. As I stared at it I thought to myself "It's fucking full, none missing."I put the case back down and poured another drink. I don't know how long I lasted but I woke up on the sofa in the family room at nine o'clock Saturday morning. The scotch bottle was nearly empty, my head was pounding and my mouth tasted like shit. I stood up and felt dizzy for a minute. My stomach felt like it was in full rebellion against me.I started the coffee maker and went off to take a shower. When I went upstairs I noted that there was no sign that Kathy had come home and I really didn't expect that she would, either because she was afraid to face me or because she was pissed that I had fucked everything up at DC&H. I wasn't exactly sure if I cared either.
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