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She peered over my shoulder looking at the monitor, “Can I see too?” I looked back at the monitor knowing I was caught so I tried deception over outright denial. I said in a semi-confidant tone, “I was surfing the international news when I inadvertently linked to this…” She held her hand to her mouth and I could tell she was stifling laughter. She regained her composure saying, “That’s one of the many things I love about you.”I asked, “What’s that?”She replied, “The fact that you suck as a liar. I’ve been watching for awhile and might I say getting very turned on.” I must have had the look of a small furry a****l caught in the headlights because she continued in a reassuring manner, “You shouldn’t be afraid to share your desires with me. (She began to rub my shoulders) Being open is the first step in building trust which is key to any relationship, right?”I looked at the monitor that displayed an image of a woman dressed in tight fitting latex sporting a monstrous strapon, and then I. Women were just too sensitive. Didn't they understand that god putthem on the Earth to be objects of men's lust?Van walked into his apartment, muttering about the latest woman who hadtold him to take a walk. He suddenly heard a voice say, "Now, me buck-o,you seem to be having a bit of trouble with the ladies. Perhaps I couldhelp you."Van turned and saw a two foot tall man dressed all in green. "Who the hellare you?" Patty the Leprechaun, looking to do a little business here. In return fora bit of gold, I could be grantin' ye a wish. Depending upon what you wishfor, anything your heart desires could be yours." Anything?" Depending on the amount of gold you give me. Bigger wishes and bettereffects require bigger amounts and better quality of the precious metal." Could I write you a check? I don't have any gold here." Sorry, no checks accepted. But you've got some gold here somewhere."Patty tapped his nose. "We leprechauns can smell the stuff." I don't know where." Let's see.
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