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Sure she felt gratitude, but she felt anger too. Anger at herself for being so starry eyed, certainly anger at Turner for being a cad, but there was anger at Martin too. Yes she felt gratitude toward Martin as well, but was gratitude the same thing as love. No she knew it wasn’t. If she loved Martin, if she was going to really love him, it would have to be based on something more than the terrible events of the summer. In fact, if she was going to love any man, whether it was Martin, or anybody, it would have to be as an equal. She knew to achieve that kind of loving relationship she had a lot more growing up to do. Before she could commit to Martin she had to commit to herself. That commitment began right here at the doorstep of the monster. Cheryl heard someone on the other side of the door. They called out. ‘Who is it?’ ‘It’s Cheryl.’ ‘Is Martin with you?’ ‘No.’ The door opened. ‘What Martin couldn’t make it?’ ‘He’s waiting down the street.’ ‘What he was afraid to see me.’ ‘No. And some knockout high school and college girls, who are too young to even think about. The only single ladies otherwise are either too militant feminist for consideration or are widows older than I am... "That's pretty much true of the whole town. There are some knockout ladies, but they're disqualified on other counts-age or marital status" Don't give up, Dad. Now that we know what we need to do, we can start working on how to get from here to there."And Dad... remember what you taught me? Don't forget to pray!"The truth is, I didn't seriously consider finding another women at that point. I could live with the loneliness. And the things I'd said about a shortage of suitable ladies in our town were all true. If one came along, wonderful. If not, I'd survive.Kris, of course, had other ideas. If it weren't for Mike, I think she'd have moved in with me-including into my bed-just to ease my pain and loneliness. She knows I consider her to be the ideal girl, in terms of basic package..
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