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I cry as I clutch the soft garment. I feel something inside the breast pocket. It looks to be several letters. They are letters that Marie wrote to Jennifer. I brace myself as I slide to the floor to read them. I feel ill I am so overcome with emotion. Marie has written to Jennifer about how she will need her help from heaven to help daddy. She tells our unborn baby how much I would have loved her. The games I would have played with her. The knowledge I would have passed on to her. How could Marie love me this much two years ago, and leave me in a crumpled heap like this? I feel like a zombie I am so engulfed by sadness. I wander through my daily routine with little thinking. I have done my best not to let friends and family know how truly devastated I am. I have lost 30 pounds since Marie has left. I just forget to eat most days. I sit alone in the dark at night and just wait to fall asleep from exhaustion and despair. I though about calling Marie but didn’t see any point in it. . With a grocerybag in one hand as i finally entered the key and unlocked the door. Prior to lay a little heap of advertising. I put down the bag with the food and pulled off my jacket, picked up the bag and advertising. Inside the kitchen, threw the advertisement on the table and began to pack the food in the fridge and freezer.When i was finished i settled down on one of the chairs around the table. I checked quickly through commercials before i became bored and went to the living room. It was seven in the evening and the day on the job had been quite demanding. I zapped thru the channels on the tv and collapsed on the sofa. Only a bad movie on Canal +. After a while i fell asleep.Wien i woke up again i looked at the clock. 11:56pm. I went to the bedroom to change into something to sleelp in. I pulled on a soft dress but changed my mind quickly. I actually lived alone now. Although it was fairly recently i moved out, so it felt different to be able to walk around in whatever i.
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