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The note said that she wanted to get together and that she wanted to "pump" me. This was code for fucking. Being introduced to sex at a young age, I knew exactly what that meant as well as having a good idea of what to do with a girl, although I had never done anything like that before. It certainly surprised me that she had these kinds of feelings. That night, I wondered what kinds of things we could do alone, together. I knew from the explicit magazines my dad kept in his toolbox, that guys and girls did a lot of kissing, all over. That they put their mouths on private parts and put their parts together and that it looked like fun. I was instantly aroused at just the thought of being able to do this with another girl. I wondered what she would look like without any clothes on and how she would feel if I touched her. Of course, as I thought about all this, I realized that this was something we should not do. But, that just made me even more aroused and excited. A day or two. But the look changed in something slightly different as she looked deep into my eyes.“Honey, like I told Chris, you are my life and I can’t imagine a world where you weren’t front and center every day for me. I could never live without you, but I’m not going to lie to you and promise that I’ll never fall in love with Malcolm or someone else. Life’s not like that, we don’t control who we do or don’t fall in love with.”She paused to see the effect of her words, to see the little dip in my feelings. “But what I can promise you, baby, is that I’m not looking for anyone to fall in love with. I’ve already warned Malcolm off, told him that I’m not looking for a romantic attachment. And the promise I can make you is that whatever happens, I’d never leave you for some other man.”She smiled lovingly and sweetly, kissing me softly on the lips. “I’ve already got the best man in the world. Why would I want to give that up for a lesser model? For number two or number three. What kind of sense.
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