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"Didn't you fucking hear what I said?"I don't know why, but an incedent at the restaurant I waited at flashed into my mind. Months ago, I'd messed up an order and the customer demanded to see the manager. He said he wouldn't be satisfied with anything less than my dismissal. I begged and pleaded for him to forget about it. He relented when I agreed to pay for his meal.I wasn't physically afraid of him, like I was with the beast rearing down on me, but it was the power of intimidation he had over me. Just the threat of seeing the manager and I was paying for his lunch. Sure, my manager probably would have stood by me, but in the moment, I was weak and scared.If I forced myself to be honest, even the "real" me, the workaholic, really was just afraid and intimidated by those above her and that's why she convinced herself she did it for love of the work. Of course she ... She? That was me! Of course [i]I[/i] wanted to get to the top and be the one doing the intimidating. But try as I. Somehow, I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.For instance, if the tickets changed my life, then was I living the life that I was supposed to? I've heard of the term "karma" from the popularity of Eastern religions, which is supposed to be the sum of a person's actions in this life and previous lives, and decides one's fate in this and future lives. Could these tickets somehow be interrupting this natural order, and would this interruption affect the karma of other people? These were really pretty heady things for a seventeen year old to be thinking!A year before, I learned enough about the tickets to know that I wanted to avoid them for the most part. Since then, I learned more about them, including that other people had access to them or may still have them even now! I was warned about the tickets by Camille and her sister, and discovered some of the despicable things that Tim Hawking did with them.So... despite the fact that it looks like I have everything I need....
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