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.. straight into the hot soapy water. And in short order straight out again. He now proceeded to wash himself, and there shortly appeared a light ginger tom, and you could see why he was called Mrmalade. No one ever wrote to Proctor and Gamble to tell them how effective their washing powder was on cats.There was always a problem with the geese, the goat and the dog, which would follow you down the road if you went out, and to cap it all there were chickens. Father, when asked what he did for a living on one occasion said 'Poultry Advisor'. When we asked what he meant he told us he could advise anyone not to keep them. In those days you could inject a pill into the male birds to turn them into 'capons' basically I think a sort of chemical neutering, and we did quite few of these, by the hundred actually. Whether this chemical had any effect on the humans who consumed them I have no idea, but I do have three children, who have qualified me to become a 'Parent Advisor'. I'm sure you can. ‘I saw a beautiful woman in a sparkling pink dress walk out onto this balcony. How was I supposed to know it was you?’ She couldn’t help but blush at the confession and she was happy that the dark of night covered her embarrassment. ‘Beautiful?’ she asked shyly. ‘You’re not like the rest of them,’ he replied. ‘You’re…’ ‘Old fashioned?’ she finished. ‘That’s what my mom always says.’ ‘Your mother,’ he chuckled. Her mother, a woman of a slightly more appropriate age for his interests. ‘I can’t count the number of times she’s told me to cut my hair,’ she said, rolling her eyes slightly. ‘Why would you ever cut your hair?’ he asked, and without thinking he ran his fingers through the curls cascading down her back. Her heart lurched in her chest as the tips of his fingers brushed against the skin between her shoulder blades. ‘I…’ she stammered, choking over her words when his hand didn’t return to his lap. ‘That’s what I tell her.’ ‘How old are you?’ he asked, his hand hovering over.
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