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Sadly, I have a feeling that it will only be temporary. Especially since she knows where my heart is and that I can never fully give it to her. I have to admit that it is a nice feeling to know exactly where you stand with someone and that they are willing to accept you regardless of the situation. To know that I can still be deserving of someone else's affections even with all that is going on in my life. She knows that I still can not push thoughts of him from my mind and yet, she accepts it and still presses on with me. She continues to come visit me, stay with me, talk to me like young lovers should and there is never any question of her feelings towards me. She isn't torn between two people. It's just me that she cares for and wishes to give her attention to. It's a nice feeling to have and it is an amazing thing to see, inspiring even, but I often worry that I am hurting her in the same way that he hurt me.I try to eradicate him from my thoughts, I really do, but it is not. Who is Jack? Only the most handsome, intelligent, funny, loving man I’d ever met. I’d only known Jack for 4 months, but it was love at first sight and I’d trust him with my life. Jack would never do anything to hurt me. Of that, I was sure. My relationship with Jack was, from the beginning, an open and honest one. It was about more than just sex, but I must admit, the sex sure was hot. I could tell him anything, and he could do the same. Whether it was him letting me know just how he liked his cock sucked, or me admitting that I liked a little spanking and light bondage, the honesty really made our sex life great. The one thing I could never tell him, was about my fantasy of getting drugged and raped. I don’t know why- maybe I was afraid he would think I was a pervert, or maybe I was just afraid of my fantasy coming true. Either way, it took a whole lot of courage and a bottle of Chablis one Saturday night for me to let it slip. He didn’t say much why I told him, but I could tell by.
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