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One of the things I wanted was to have sex. If it was good enough for her, she would have to agree it was good enough for me. O: So that was the arrangement, like a trade-off between you and your mother. Ida: Of course. She would have her freedom, and I could screw whomever I wanted as long as I stayed in school.O: Did you stay in school? Ida: Yep. Not only that, I graduated early with a 3.78 GPA. In fact, I had several scholarship offers at state schools. O: You mean colleges here in California. Ida: Yes, that's right. I didn't go because of a better opportunity that I couldn't refuse. The thing is, Walter had already told me I was the best fuck he ever had. He even said he didn't need Viagra when screwing me, although he used it with my mother. He was sure I'd make a lot of money as an escort. O: Tell us about that. Ida: Sure. It turned out that Walter wasn't just another guy fucking Mom and me. He was a part owner of a Nevada brothel a couple of hours from our town. Mom had been. Love,VioletDAY FIVE:Dear Bob,What a marvelous surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings.One for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.To tell you the truth,all these birds really squawk a lot and are getting on my nerves.Affectionately,VioletDAY SIX:Bob,Today the postman knocked and ran. When I opened the door therewere actually six geese-a-laying on my front steps.So, you're back on the birds again.Those geese are huge! Where in the name of creation will I keep them?The neighbors are complaining, rightfully so,and it is impossible to sleep through this racket.Now let this be the end of this.Cordially,VioletDAY SEVEN:Bob,What the hell's with you and these fucking birds?!? Seven swans-a-swimming? What kind of goddamn joke is this?There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket.Stop with this sadistic nonsense.This is not funny and I am very unhappy.Sincerely,Violet DAY EIGHT:O.K. Pal ! !WHAT IN THE SCREAMING HELL AM I GOING TO.
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