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” He opened the album. “Here she is. This was taken right before we got married.”“She’s not at all what I envisioned,” Irene remarked. “She’s ... tiny.”“She was a little thing -- not tall and willowy like you are.” He flipped pages. “We were married in a Jewish ceremony ... her family is Reformed and tolerant of her marrying outside her religion.” He flipped another page. “Julie’s family had some money. In lieu of a big, overblown wedding we elected for a honeymoon in the Bahamas.” He flipped to another photograph of the two of them in bathing suits.“My goodness,” Irene said. “I remember you saying you liked flat-chested women. She’s flatter than me!”“Yes -- she had to buy underwear in the girls’ department. She wore a size 30 double-A I think. I told you she was built like a twelve-year-old boy.”“I can resonate with that. I wear a 34-A and it’s a nightmare finding that size.” Irene looked at more photographs. “Look at you -- how slim you were then ... not that you’re fat now,. This yearwill be no different. Now get your ass over here and try on theseclothes," she screamed back at him.On the bed was a pair of bright green woolen tights, white dress shirt,and a green bibbed coverall with pointed hem. It reminded him more of adress than anything else. A pair of white cotton gloves with whiterabbit fur hemming, a long pointed green woolen cap with a fringe ofwhite across the brim and at the point of the cap was a large silverbell. On the floor was a pair of black Mary Jane styled patent leathershoes. There was a red and green stripped ribbon and three small silverbells attached to the vamp."Mom, please, not the Christmas elf costume again. It'll make me looklike a friggin idiot," he said."Well if you don't like this one you can always go in my costume. Ithink you would make a wonderful Mrs. Clause. If you don't stop thatawful cussing, you will wear my costume. Now not another word or else,"she snapped back.Under his mother's watchful eye, he pulled the.
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