Forty-five minutes later we were down to where the telephones worked, we both called home. Mom asked me if everything was okay I told her, nothing could be better. We arrived home about 4:30. I started unloading my truck. Put the dirty clothes in the washer and stacked the bedding for the next load. I unloaded my concentrates and started to run them across the shaker table. Di was there, I showed her how to load the trammel and work the table. Earlier in the spring I had built a power winch, by the way Di help me build it to pull rocks out of the creek I needed it now to move the big rocks where I was working. I loaded up the winch and my pulley system and a chain saddle for going around the rocks. We ran the shaker table to about ten o’clock. And put another five pounds of gold in the bottle and stored it in the pickup. Diana asked me what my plans were. I told her I’d be going back up to the claim the morning after the funeral. She asked me if I would miss her. I took her in my. I could feel his body behind me and he wrapped his arms around me and held me the way a Grandpa always holds his grandson, gently and lovingly. But I knew this was different. I was silent and let him hold me. It seemed to last for a long time and I must have been tense because he reached up to my head and lent it against his chest. I didn't resist. I felt powerless to resist and I knew that I didn't want to resist. I was glad to feel powerless as it stopped me feeling guilty (though obviously those thought weren't consciously thought at the time). Anyway it worked. With my head against his chest I felt myself exhale and relax and I felt comfortable and safe. He sensed it and I felt him sense it as he relaxed too and I lay against him like that for some time. Looking back those minutes spent in my imagination were the most sexually charged of all as I felt comfortable enough to be fully aware of what was happening. I was being touched by my Grandfather and no-one must ever no. I was.
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