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Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the sidewalk.5. Leave a note on your door that reads:"Bubba,Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.Better wait outside. Be right back.Cooter"These are compliments of Larry--A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.The first boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.The second boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to. I will be generous and give her a seven. As the car ride began, she snuggled over beside me. Her seat belt off, the alarm beeping quietly, I simply turned the music up louder. A small hand found my thigh and began the comfort rub. Maybe she thought I was Danny. Maybe she was very drunk. Didnt matter. My sympathetic arm was around Susies shoulder, rubbing her neck, fondling her hair, showing her the way down. The zip of the zipper and the warm, wet mouth indicated Susie was already getting over her ex. Or pretending I was him. Should have gone to hers, but back at my place, we got down to it. The rag thing made everything a lot more slippery. Her panties resembled a small diaper. Gross. Sick me for attempting this. As I drove into her, the blood began to splatter. I didnt mind the sensation, but the smell was overpowering. Nasty. A bleeding deer. Then the smell controlled itself, settling at a feral level. I got used to it quickly. The red on my white sheets was, different. Exotic..
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