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She made crazy eyes at me and wobbled her head.The three of us we got up, and walked to my car. I drove Karen home a few blocks away, and then it was Nel's turn."Where do you live?" I asked.It was a farther than I'd hoped."Why don't you move up front?" I asked."I'm good," she said, and crumpled up in my back seat.She gave me directions."Doing anything tonight, Nel?" No. Maybe watch a movie on TV. What about you? Got any plans?" No. I think I'm going to go home, drink a beer and maybe read a book." We're an exciting bunch. Shit, I should've stayed in the bar. I could've hooked up with some hot guy." Not too late. I can drive you back." I said.She laughed. "I was kidding. Don't you know when I'm kidding?" Nope."I drove into a development and and parked by her town house.She got her stuff together. "You want to come in?" she asked.I was surprised at the offer. I thought for a split second and said, "Sure, why not."I followed her up a wet grassy hill. The lawn was unlit, but I could still. Spring break and spring training, Baseball and bikinis. What else do you need?AUDIENCE MEMBER: Beer!ME: Wow! I seldom have guys in my audience. That's probably why. Is that what you're really thinking of? Ladies, let me tell you something. If you're with a guy who is more interested in drinking than in you, then he's probably never actually seen a nipple up close and personal.I'm not a prude. I don't mind a drink occasionally for those who are of age. I've certainly enjoyed a bottle of champagne with my lover. Even a shot of Triple Crown Bourbon. But let me tell you a fact of life. If your guy has to get drunk before he'll look deeply into your eyes and say 'I love you, ' it's not you he's talking to.Picture yourself ten years from now with a baby sucking your left nipple and a toddler pulling at your right leg when you hear that same voice from the TV room yelling, 'Beer, Betty!' That's alcohol at its best. It makes us so clever and witty. 'Yeah, man. Went out with Betty last night..
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