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She was the voice of reason within the chaos I hadcreated. She would always love me, no matter what, but unlike my mother,she bore none of the weight of the day to day problems my wearing adress was making. As my tears were wiped away, I felt a sense of reliefcome washing over me. I squeezed her hands tightly as I looked into herface, that calm, placid face that I loved so dearly. I had my answer,but could I act on it? Could I jump feet first into the well of society,in a high school, and make them believe that I am what I seemed to beand survive, or would I go up in the flames of shameful doubt andunrelenting hatred."Kristen," Nana said softly, "you cannot make this decision on your own.You have to tell your mother how you feel, and make her believe thatwhatever you decide, it is the best for you. I think she understandsyour need, but I'm sure that she doesn't know that this is what you wantto do all the time." How in the hell did she know that?!! "Can you tellher?" I don't know!. ." Charlotte says. Within seconds, I've filled awashing-up bowl with lukewarm water, and Charlotte is dabbing my bustedlip with damp kitchen roll in an effort to stop the bleeding."It's really not bleeding that much," I argue. "Had practically stoppedby the time I got here..." You still don't want to go around everywhere with blood all over yourface," Charlotte says. "Unless that's some sort of macho 'maleinitiation' ritual I DON'T want to know about?" No," I sigh. "Just a macho 'male stupidity' ritual..." Trust me," Charlotte says, "females can be equally stupid at times. Notas often as men, obviously..." I chuckle, before Charlotte continuestalking. "Why DID you go and talk to Keith, anyway?" Just to see if he wanted to come to the party tomorrow," I say. "I'msorry, I know I should've asked you first as you're the host, but-" It's not like he hasn't been here since the break-up!" Charlottelaughs. "And besides, it's your party, you invite whoever you want! And,technically, I don't.
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