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‘Ah, it went well thanks… finished it before everyone else. I’m just taking a much-needed tea-scone-ciggie break.’ I said, smiling. David winked at me after I said the word ‘break’.‘Well that’s great then,’ said Dad. I could hear the hum of traffic, the ice rain hitting and potentially breaking the smooth, pristine windshield of his new lorry. ‘Jude, I’m gonna be about an hour late. I’ll pick you up at the tea shop, yeah? At 4 rather than of 3?’‘Yea sure dad, there’s a bit more shopping I’d like to sort out. Call me when you get here.’ I winked at David and uncharacteristically I licked my lips. Flicked my tongue over them, blew a sensual kiss. My lipstick stuck loyally to my pouty mouth. David looked at me in a bit of a shocked way. I strike people as slightly conservative, (not a bible-thumping do-gooder no swearing prude) but just modest and shy anyroad. Not today! I was a new woman. I had an unquenchable sexual appetite, but maybe David could help me satisfy it today. I was a. There was no sign of Prudence’s blue Mazda sports car but it was still early.I went inside the church. The villagers had done Emily proud: it was beautifully decked out and overflowing with flowers. Janice saw me arrive and interrupted her preparations to come and greet me.“Hello Reverend, I’m glad to see you’re still here,” I said.“God moves in mysterious ways, Father O’Malley,” Janice replied. “The journalists were a nightmare, prompting the villagers to speculate about local paedophile rings, swinging and Satanic sacrifices in the woods at night. When they didn’t get any takers they tried to drive a wedge between me and the villagers because of my gender. That backfired spectacularly: the whole village rallied round in my support. Attendances are now back to what they should be and I’m fully accepted here.”“I’m glad you’re doing well, but I suppose the journalists will be swarming around again today.”“No, the whole village has kept the date of the funeral strictly secret..
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