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He dragged his feet up the stairs to the sleeping loft and sat down on his bed. He toed off each of his shoes onto the floor and lay back on top of the bedclothes, fully dressed. He stared up at the ceiling and relived the river of human faces the flowed by him every day, trying to see the ones he hadn’t when he had the chance. It nearly shocked him to realize how much he didn’t see. Like the way June, the receptionist on the floor he worked on, had a nervous habit of fingering her mousy, brown hair behind her ear and exposing the side of her neck as she arched her head and looked away from him. There was a little, framed picture of two kids slightly beside and behind her computer screen. He’d never seen it standing in front of her, but he could see it clearly now. A parade of women’s faces floated by him, but they were all unfinished somehow, missing eyes or ears or lips. He closed his eyes and leaned toward them as they passed, inhaling, trying to catch a whiff of familiar. Last night he'd thought the evening was incredible. He'd spoken to Anne in a non-work setting; it had been almost as if they'd been to a dinner date on their own. Now, this morning, he felt that he'd over-dramatised it. It hadn't been a non-work setting after all. Percy and Rick had been right there at their table. And yet... And yet they'd all but completely disappeared from his mind last night. To him, it had felt like the only person there with him was Anne. What did that mean?It meant he'd betrayed Caron. 'Oh, God, forgive me!' he thought and he saw in his mind's eye his wife's loving eyes, bright with amusement. Did that mean she gave her blessing? 'Do you mean that, love?' he asked her, and felt a warmth run through him as it came to him that Caron would want him to live on, and that included the romantic part of his life too. Stan felt a great weight lifting from over him. It wasn't a physical thing, more like an oppressive feeling that had now dissipated.Now he had things to.
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