Pain like a river, a waterfall, an earthquake…pain like a volcanic eruption that makes me scream and scream and scream. So much pain to deliver a life so small. Giving birth was perhaps the most painful and colorful moment of my life, the ripping of a soul that I’m not even sure exists. It tore from me like the wing of bird, disabling my flight through the azure dawn of existence. I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto my heaving chest, dividing lines around my heart, stilling my flowing stream of consciousness into a stagnant pool of sharp edged and bitter regret. My whole being became pain. I was a soul writhing in a sea of boiling agony and I screamed like a wolf that howls in mourning. I screamed like a bird that soars across the horizon. And all eyes were on me and I was dying in the pain that engulfed me and swallowed me whole. If only I could die I. “Naturally,” she said, “coffee?” I accepted, and before she turned to the little espresso machine behind the counter I noticed her look me up and down. Maybe just a professional assessment of my lingerie size, but maybe a little more. “This could be interesting,” I thought. I began to browse the elegant assortment of lacy panties and bras arranged tastefully on gilt baroque-style shelving. As I came to the exquisite window display that had first drawn my attention, the saleswoman appeared with a tiny cup of coffee. She placed it on a small ornamental table and nodded towards the bustier I was admiring. It was white, with lace trim and pink ribbons between the cups and at the hips. “Is very pretty, no?” she asked. I nodded agreement. “You would like to try?” “Yes,” I said, “I think I would.” She led me towards the dressing room at the back of the store, and through a velvet curtain. The room was tastefully luxurious, with a large velvet chaise, a few ornate chairs, a drinks cabinet.
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