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Mother never spanked me. She didn't have to. She weakened my masculine identity by manipulating my need for maternal love and approval. Then she trained me to identify erotic excitement with the more feminine side of my personality.Whenever I got out of line mother would remind me she'd never wanted a son. She was hoping for a girl and was disappointed that I turned out to be a boy."Why couldn't you have been a girl?" she'd ask. "I don't like boys. They're too rough and aggressive. I should have put you up for adoption the day you were born." Then she'd become cold and distant. She'd threaten to abandon me or put me in an orphanage if I turned out to be like my father. I was terrified. Mother was all I had and I needed her love and approval. So I tried hard to please her -- and what pleased her was for me to be gentle and submissive and take an interest in things feminine.When other boys played cowboy or soldier, I remained close to mother. I cooked, did housework, shopped for. Il me serra contre lui me faisant un câlin, s’excusant en me disant qu’il s’était mal exprimé, m’expliquant que dans une usine de mecs, le jeunes filles comme moi qui sont très rare excite beaucoup les hommes, il se noyait dans ses explications mais dans le même temps, ses mains caressaient mes fesses, il essayait de m’embrasser entre deux mots, il arrivait lentement à ses fins mon excitation repris le dessus, je savais que sa seule envie était de me sauter, mais je sais pas pourquoi, malgré la situation son manque de respect envers moi, ne me gêna pas autant que j’aurais pu le penser et c’est en appuyant doucement sur mes épaules pour que me m’agenouille devant lui qu’il comprit qu’il avait gagné.Une fois à genoux devant lui il me demanda de le sucer, il introduit doucement son sexe dans ma bouche, commença ses vas et vient tout en me disant des choses un peu cru « tu l’aime ma queue », « tu fais ta prude mais sa t’excite de savoir que tu nous fais bander » et je me rendais compte.
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