“Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?”“He sure did, Pop! He fucked the brown cow again!”– Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for an assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms.“How are you going to assist me?” asked Quasimodo. “That’s easy!”replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head.BONGGGGGG “That’s amazing!” said Quasimodo “But could you show me again?”“Sure!” said the man and with that he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower.A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police officer asked “Does anyone know who he is?” Quasimodo came out and said... “I DON’T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!”Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was the bravest of fighters and showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became. Finally I called it a day and went home, feeling hot, sweaty, dusty and fed up.It was a fairly typical home evening, differing from the night before only in that instead of letting Wendy pounce on me the instant I got home I insisted on having a shower first, and the food this time was Chinese. I noted that I was already beginning to accept these comforts as no more than my due, and I felt I should miss them when FUCK wore off.I was also beginning to take for granted the sex on going to bed, in the middle of the night, and before getting up, and again I was not disappointed. As I watched Wendy leave for work the next morning I reflected fondly how loved and pampered I felt. This complacent mood was somewhat disturbed when the sound of Kylie sneaking home as usual reminded me that FUCK could cut both ways: it could give me the happiest marriage imaginable, or it might land me in gaol for some terrible sex crime.So I got on with things, calling in to pay the undertaker and visiting.
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