In farm we both were discussing about other matters.In conversation, Naveen started asking about Sahana. In a casual manner I explained about her and we are finding a good groom to get her married. Naveen continued speaking only about Sahana, saying she is so beautiful, good lady, good sister for you like this. I just nodded yes to everything he said. But his intension towards Sahana was different.We came back to home around 9 pm. Sahana was watching TV, looking at us she went inside. Mom was preparing dinner. We got ready and sat down for dinner. This time Sahana didn’t come forward to serve instead she was just passing food to mom to serve us. All this time I just noticed was Naveen had an eye on Sahana. He was trying his maximum to look at her, but she was vanishing immediately.After dinner we both went to terrace to sleep. We had smoke together and started watching porn in his mobile. This was our routine when we were staying together before. He had bought huge collection of. However, had not all of the elements been there and been as perfect as they were, it might not have “touched” the world in the way that it did.If that sounds a little “out there”, trust me, if you were anywhere near my age bracket when that song hit and you had a heart, it “touched” you.Not that our song is anywhere near the genius of that song, but you still want it to have the chance to at least “touch” somebody ... anybody.So, there it is in a nutshell. I have basically tried every trick I know in hopes of getting it to work, but every time I thought I was close, I felt myself getting farther away.That’s when you start running into diminishing returns. When what you really need is a break ... but you try to plow through it anyway.Thus my raging frustration at the top of this chapter.Silly? Melodramatic? Maybe.But, it’s my cross to bear.Thank you for letting me get it out.If there is one silver lining in all of this, it’s that I have several walking, talking, and breathing “stress.
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