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It wasn't a big job, but I thought it was important. I didn't know what split them up but I did know Michael's business partner was his new wife and she was a knockout and he'd started a new family with her.It was our kids who brought Sarah and I back together in the months after the divorce was final. Of course we had to get together for the big things like Nicole's college graduation. Then there were dinner out nights when Matt was home from school. Most times he would stay with me at my condo in San Francisco and since Sarah worked only a few blocks away it was logical to invite her along for dinner. Nicole made a point of taking the BART over from Berkeley. During nice weather the four of us would sit at an outside table at one of the restaurants along the Embarcadero or at the Ferry Building. Sometimes we would stroll the Embarcadero after dinner and I would have Sarah and Nicole on my arms. We looked like a happy family. These dinners became a weekly event and I found myself. It still didn't feel like fear. I didn't feel like I was bailing out on the pitches, or flinching. But something was different, and, whatever it was, Sandy seemed to be the only antidote. When she was nearby, when I could think about her, back there behind me in the stands, the fear -- if that's what it was -- didn't take hold of me.Superstition? Was that all it was? Maybe. But I had never been superstitious. I'd never cared about mystical stuff; it had always seemed like bullshit to me. I certainly didn't worry about black cats, or stepping on the baseline when I left the playing field.But now. I felt like a hitter when Sandy was there. I even forgot, a couple of times, to put on my Captain America goggles when I went up to the plate.But when Sandy wasn't there, I felt a little empty. Hard to admit something like that. It was like being kind of weak: it made me feel effeminate, even, although I knew there were plenty of women around who were as strong-willed as the strongest.
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