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.. such as it isI recently bought a bag of air. The company that made it was nice enough to put in a few potato chips... How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism. We used to talk a lot before she got married but then it got reduced. During weekends or any other holidays i used to run to bathroom. Whenever she used to wash clothes i used to peep from my window to get a view of her cleavage. It was the most beautiful melons. I used to feel like stuffing my face in them. I had seen other cleavages but none of them this beautiful. Her boobs used to bounce up-down, left-right. They were milky white. I used to masturbate thinking about them. Once or twice she saw me peeping but never said anything.I got my luck because her husband was working abroad and after marriage she went there to stay for a few months. She came back in May as her visa expired. I started speaking to her again. Most of the time she looked sad because she missed her husband. I started giving her company. One day while speaking i asked her what she misses the most. She told her husband being next to her. I don’t know why but i asked her if she’s pregnant. She was shocked i asked.
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