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I tried as hard as I could to keep our sexual intimacy up but it still wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. I was almost out of school for the summer and all I wanted to do was be with my girlfriend so we could have sex again. I felt like I planned out us having sex more then we actually did it. I also felt like I wanted it more then she did. I often tried to bring up sexual topics between us and she would respond barely and then drop it or change the subject. This was frustrating to me, I knew other guys girlfriends were a lot more sexually driven then mine. I wanted to do something special for her when I got back home so I tried to plan something sexual. When I flew back to Arizona I drove to see her immediately because I couldn’t wait to see her. I planned on asking her to marry me as soon as I got out of school the following year. When I got to her house I wanted to surprise her so I didn’t tell her I was coming. When I finally got to her house I went in and couldn’t. Later, after puberty, I did it two or three times with a couple of boys, twins in fact, but that's a whole story in itself, so I may tell about it another time. Another time, also after puberty, I did it with 3 boys, and mostly we just watched each other jack off, to see each other shoot off. But it wasn't the kind of close contact and stuff that we did with just two of us together. I don't know exactly why but I think in part it was because there was a kind of trust, like an unspoken pact, between two of us when we did it, and that's hard to have with more than two. Also, along with the sexual excitement and feeling, it was two boys giving each other full attention, that was important too. At that age, and even more in teenage years, boys can be insecure and self-conscious and crave the attention of another boy, or girl, an adult or anyone. But no one except another boy is in a position to give so much: attention and camaraderie, and to be allowed time alone together, with some.
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