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In my senior year some of the popular, athletic guys befriended me and asked for my help with their studies. I was smart enough to know that they were just using me, but it still felt good to be accepted by them.After high school I went to college and earned a master's degree in mechanical engineering, and eventually started my own company. My name is Ed, and this story is about how my experiences with one of those boys caused a change in my life when I was 50 years old.As I look back on it now, my relationship with those boys had two conflicting facets. On the one hand I was much smarter and applied myself to my studies more than them, but on the other they were strong, muscular and handsome. I always felt weak and less masculine around them. Even when I was helping them, they talked down to me, and somehow that humiliation made me feel accepted by them. I can still remember the night that my relationship with them changed significantly.It was towards the end of football season and. The French lady looked away. The Americans just stared, leering with big stupid grins. I made a face at them, then turned and kissed Lauren again. She pressed in her tongue."This place kinda sucks," I said, "Let's get outta here."We drank, paid, and left. We went north up a narrow street and past a little piazza with a garden and a fountain. Lauren walked close to me. She held my hand, leaning into me. When I stopped, she turned to me, nuzzling her head against me, and we kissed. I stopped several times."So," Fi asked after the third such episode, "Why don't you two just fuck already?" Huh?" Nothing. Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb the lovebirds."Fi stood there. She crossed her arms. She shifted around, scraping her heel against the pavement."What's wrong with Fi?" Lauren asked."I dunno. Maybe she's feeling left out?"I looked at her. She looked back, then turned and continued walking up the street. Lauren and I released our embrace and followed, still holding hands.We entered a large.
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