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Jeff had introduced me to yet another new emotion – insecurity. I didn’t like it. Tuesday, no Jeff. I got his roommate. He didn’t know where Jeff was. No call. Clearly, something was going on but I had no idea what. I heard nothing on Wednesday. It was like he had disappeared from the face of the earth. For a very brief moment I considered calling the FBI until I realized how completely ridiculous that would be. The ache of not knowing where he was, of just not being with him, was overwhelming. Was this the price of love or infatuation or whatever it was? I wasn’t sure I was willing to pay it. On the other hand, how do I avoid paying it? How do I stop feeling the need to be with him? How do I give up the excitement of anticipating that I’m going to be with him? The steps I had taken to get into this situation had been voluntary, but now that I was here, it didn’t seem voluntary at all. We weren’t exactly at the point where I could say I had a life with him, but the thought of a life. My daughter called me one morning and informed me that there appeared to be a water leak under her house. Since, technically it was my house that she was renting from me, I figured I better have a look before I called in a plumber. When I arrived , she have already left for work so I opened up the crawlspace to see if I could tell where the problem was. I could see right away that there was about 3 or 4 inches of water standing inside the foundation but nothing seemed to be leaking. I knew I’d have to take a closer look so I got down on my knees and waded up under the house. As I crawled around, getting the legs of my jeans soaked, I followed the piping lay out with my eyes, trying to see if there were any leaks. Seeing nothing obvious, I headed back toward the crawlspace door. Hearing a voice outside, I realized she must have called her father as well as he poked his head inside the opening. “Hey there. Looks like you got a little water under the house” he said. “No k**ding” I.
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