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Every few whiles, I'd have a vision of the Humvee stopping. Everybody would get out of the vehicles: ten SEALs, Carolyn, my wife, and Arti. Io would stay with the humvee of course. She kept talking through the radio."Turn on your GPS, Harvey. Turn on your GPS." Io kept repeating it over and over.When I went to look at my wristwatch, which always had a nifty GPS in it, all it would display was 'Look at your cell phone.' So, I'd get that out, and all it would display was 'Look at your wristwatch.'Then the IED would blow up, splattering my face with Martinez' brains. Somehow it was underwater, and I got hit in the leg with some shrapnel.Carolyn would laugh and run off into the hills with one of the SEALs. Arti didn't even notice, because she was wearing ear buds and all she said was "Donald Duck doesn't have any pants."Then everything went black....It was hot by day and cold by night. That's the way it always seemed to be in Afghanistan. I was in a tent, sort-of-sleeping all the time.. Either I was to be made queen of the U.S.A. or she would blow up Latham Bernooli... Luckily for everybody concerned, one of Wally's staff was listening to the show while driving to work and she alerted him to the probability that the mad bomber was my Mom. According to the radio reports, she wore a Frankenstein mask during the actual abduction so the driver and bodyguard were unable to give police a clue to her identity. There were some pretty tense minutes, trying to get to Mom before the police, but Wally came through again. The bomb was wired improperly so it would detonate when Mom pushed the plunger as our 'Safari' troops charged through the door. Mom calmed down after the doctor sedated her. And Bernooli was unhurt, if a bit ruffled. To smooth things out, I had to agree to appear in one of his incredibly dull pictures... with the stipulation, of course, that final script approval be left up to me.The bomb lady was never found. Bernooli was unable to help police, insisting that.
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