It was another night like all the rest at the old diner. Nothing was ever new and nothing ever changed.If asked, not one patron would have admitted noticing the long haired, wild-eyed derelict standing on a milk crate directly across the street. He held a crude sign that proclaimed, “THE END IS NEAR,” in block letters, hand written. In case that was not enough to remind the busiest passersby, it was repeated in smaller letters, “The End Is Near!” No one saw him coming or going. He was just there.The old guy had been around for weeks. No one remembered precisely when he had taken up residence across the way. In the intervening weeks, he had become a fixture, as dependable as the diner’s menu. It didn’t matter what time of day you passed, he was there, faithful and determined. One of the younger waitresses had nicknamed him “Old Faithful.”His sign, though exposed to wind, rain, and snow, never seemed any worse for the wear. On the last day, he was as much a fixture as the lamppost. To. And, I really do deserve sympathy. As it happens, Sandy ran off with every last cent of the $18,000. Last I heard she was somewhere on the coast making a career for herself as an entertainer. An honest-to-goodness rock star, if you can believe that shit. Only, she's calling herself Alexxia now. And, I'm flat fuckin' broke. In spite of my so-called luck." Hey, Julie. Let's assume for a moment that something really did happen, that somehow anal sex did alter your luck. But, you know, the flaw in all this is... Why now? Why you of all people? It seems to me that if ass-fucking buggers the odds, then someone would certainly have noticed by now. All those hetero couples throughout human history who ever tried sodomy and all the gays who've been sticking it up each other's asses, and nobody's ever parlayed it into gambling winnings? Sounds pretty damn unlikely to me." Unlikely? Mick, why don't you just come right out and say impossible? No, it's all a figment of my imagination. No, sodomy.
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