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The butterflies wondering where the night will end up, or whether there is a chance that the relationship will be consummated. The tension of trying to discover more about the person you are with and whether you are attracted to them. It's all part of the mating dance that we all learned in high school.But, for the same reasons, new relationships tend to be superficial. You don't know the other person well enough to honestly judge whether there is true compatibility. Lust and infatuation take the place of deep commitment. Maybe that's why so many 'whirlwind romances' fail. By the time you wake up and realize you have caught the person you are pursuing, you discover that you have no idea who it is you've caught.At the risk of sounding like Dr. Phil, a long-term relationship takes a lot of work. It doesn't happen by accident and it can't be maintained by autopilot. You need to keep working at it in order for it to stay healthy.I'm sure that part of it is how people change their. Iknew I wasn't gay; I just wanted to be his woman. Of course I could notlet the slightest hint of this out for it would have made our currentpartnership impossible. Sleeping in the same tent only made mattersworse and I think he could see I was more withdrawn and didn't know whatwas causing it. Relief came in the form of a letter from my sistersaying that Mum was not well and could I return to Sydney? I told Johnabout it and said that since I couldn't tell when I might be back andsince the site barely made enough for one person let alone two, I wouldsign over my half to him and maybe if he ever had a big find he couldpay me back. A few days later we parted on good terms and I flew backto Sydney.Mum improved but I had another reason for staying in Sydney. I haddecided that it was now or never and went to see some specialist doctorsto resolve my dilemma about my identity. Don't let anyone tell you thatbeing transgender is easy. People who know joke that it takes balls toget.
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