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.. Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time —pancakes, ice cream, candy— just him and his granddaughter.One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed.Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed."Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked."Not really, Grandad, it was boring. We didn't see a single arsehole, queer, piece of shit, horse's ass, tree hugger, socialist left wing. ..As we approach the front door, it opens to reveal a slim-built man ofabout forty wearing a lemon cardigan, a striped shirt, grey flanneltrousers and a dog collar. His eyes dart to Kerrie's bust - St Paulhimself couldn't have done otherwise - but quickly settle on me. Theyaren't exactly brimming with Christian charity."Good morning, reverend," I begin, smiling sweetly. "My name's RuthHansford-Jones, and this is my friend Kerrieanne Latimer. We're lookingfor Bywell Lodge. We have some--" Some questions you'd like to ask Mr Collingwood. I'm sorry, but youpeople really have a cheek stirring things up again like this. Don't youthink the poor man's been through enough? Or are you so desperate for astory you hold his grief to be of no account?"Kerrie and I exchange a look. A subtle arch of her brow indicates that asit's my integrity that's been called into question it's up to me to setthe record straight."We're not reporters," I stress. "What I was going to say before you cutme off in.
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