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I never thought I would need to get intimately familiar with the term "creative financing."Week 14How come I seem to be in a state of constant fear?What if my lover calls? What if he doesn't? What if someone sees us together? Can I call him? Should I call him? When should I call him? Am I acting differently? Dressing differently? Do I smell differently? When I'm not busy obsessing about these questions, I play over all of the possible outcomes in my head until it spins.Week 15Guarding my damn computer and cell phone is now my full-time job. I try to keep our communication to the bare minimum, still I have to arrange those risqué rendezvous. Which means my computer and cell phone likely harbor all sorts of damning evidence.I suffer regular panic attacks wondering if I actually left my laptop open. Yesterday, when I forgot my mobile, I had to run home to retrieve it immediately.Week 16I called my lover by my husband's name today and we had a good laugh, but now I worry I'll say the. In the back of her mind she knows she is married but there is something intriguing of this man. She isn’t quite sure if it is because of the lack of intimacy at home and the missing of closeness or what but she feels very attractive. He listens to her and every time he comes to her work, she wants to just touch his hand or brush up against his arm. It brightens her day when she sees him. It almost scares her because she has not felt these feeling before. She has a 9 year old son to think about who loves his dad but then she wonders what life would be like if they were separated. She has pondered these feelings before of what life would be like if her marriage were ended because it is truly not fair to have a dad in and out of the picture every 14-16 days and possibly 60 days, missing holidays and birthdays. She didn’t sign up for this, she signed up for her man to be home every night. The man that comes to work that is very intriguing to her, he seems to show compassion and care for.
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