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" Fine. Let's go then to the plot's coherence..."She shredded my story. There were lots of holes in the plot, things that didn't make sense, mistakes in dates, causes propagating back in time against all logic ... it was awful. In a way it had been easier to see the low-level spelling and grammar corrections filling the pages with red ink than to hear her destroy the whole thing. I could tell myself I just didn't have a good eye for detail, but my stories were creative and worth telling. She was right, though: it would take a lot of work to salvage such a thing."Now, I have an objection to the way you deal with Adam's change. He's a successful, if small-time, business owner. He's single, independent, arrogant and stubborn. You told your readers that much, and you've shown it quite clearly at the start of the story. So why does he suddenly, forgive the expression, fall at Rose's feet like a lovestruck teenager?"Because that's what I wish happened to me, I wanted to say. That wasn't the. Hailey has the high.”He extracted two cards into his hands, an ace and a 10.“Each of you pick a hand,” he said. Molly picked his left hand and got the ace. It left Tiffany with the 10.“Tiff, you get to ask the first question of Hailey,” Katelyn said, intrigued by the possibilities that opened up.“Truth or dare?” Tiffany asked.“Don’t I get to hear the question before I decide?” Hailey wondered.“That how we always played,” Katelyn agreed.“I’ve never actually played before,” Molly confessed.“Me, either,” Tiffany admitted. “OK, I’ll ask a question and then you can decide.”She pondered for a moment, staring intently at her friend.“Have you ever gone out in public without panties?” she asked.“Truth,” Hailey replied. “Yes.”“Damn it!” Tiffany said. “I should have phrased the question better. Now if we want to know where and when we’ll have to ask more easy questions. Shit!”“OK, Katelyn, I’ll put my question to you,” Hailey said. “Where is the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?”“Truth,”.
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