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I longed for male companionship, as only a teenage boy could, which never seem to come.. Mom and I were real close, because we spent so much time together, but it was not the same. She was my MOM and I needed a DAD. I was now 16 and not a very popular guy at school, thus spending much of my time alone. I was tall and rather effeminate. My hips and thighs were heavy and my torso on the small side. I was the studious sort, spent much time reading and studying, and my grades reflected this. Mom worked the night shift as a nurse’s aide at St. Mary’s Hospital, and sometimes worked extra the evening shift to make ends meet, thus I was left alone much of the time. When my longing for male companionship, overwhelmed me, I sat out on the balcony and watched men walking home from the bus stop. Wondering what it would be like to be one of their sons. Would I be waiting at home for them, to talk over the day's happenings, or would I just be off on my own, as I was now. What would it be like to. And yet every fibre of my body was telling me the opposite. For the rest of that day I did my best to avoid Jenny, resigning myself to the realisation that the journey she and I had embarked on was coming to an end. As night fell across the house, I watched my sister going about her chores, and I remember thinking to myself that if stopping was what it was going to take to make her happy, then that’s what I’d do. She meant everything to me. Later, as I climbed into my bed, I let my mind drift back over all that had happened, and as I did so I fell into a deep and contented sleep, one full of wistful dreams, so vivid that they were difficult to distinguish from waking reality. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t immediately register that Jenny was standing over my bed, framed in a midnight blue darkness. Turning on my bedside light, I saw her flushed face light up, as she raised a finger to her lips. “Shhh, one last time,” came her almost inaudible words. Exhaling deeply, she lifted.
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