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“No,” he said firmly, “I’ve already told you more than I intended. I just wanted to tell someone…” He stood and bolted from the room.I could not let it go there. I spoke to the psychologist to whom I should have referred Fred and he agreed that the boy needed professional counseling. He assisted me in filling out a “blind referral.” That is, no one, neither school administration nor parent would be involved.I thought that I had done the right thing. In my mind, Fred was calling out for help and I had provided the best available. However, it did not work out. The day that Fred received notice of his appointment with the psychologist he walked out of school and disappeared. Since he was already eighteen years old he was not considered a runaway but he was designated by the authorities as a missing person. Since there was no indication of foul play, history of abuse, or trouble at school the authorities did little to find him. I talked to the psychologist about Fred and he. He wanted and hegot all the other little things done -- the tracheal shave and vocalcord tightening and the nose bob and the jaw reduction and the wide-setcheekbones, and just a little lip plumping, all the little touchesthat make his face so cute that I love looking at it almost as muchas he loves making it up each morning for work and a few times eachweek for play. No one who didn't know would dream he was evera man. He's 'Mary' now to everybody we know -- do be sure to callhim that when we come over, Eva. But he's still Maury to me. Always. I don't ever want to forget that the man I married stilllives inside the adorable girl I live with now. Not the least because every month or so Maury starts to reappearbehind that cute face. His eyes get a little bewildered and helooks strangely at me, and puzzled, and a little frightened,especially when he looks into the mirror. When that happens I sithim right down and play his refresher CD for him and then gentlyexplain what the girl.
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