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I turned to him beforeI started the engine and started to say something about being angrywith him, but he stopped me by saying,"Extreme Holly OFF!"Immediately I felt the anger drain out of me. Oh, I still REMEMBEREDbeing angry, but the reason for my anger was no longer so important."DAMN, Eric!" I said. "That's some scary stuff! For those few minutesbetween leaving the table and you saying that phrase, I actually WANTEDto flirt with and BE with some of those guys! Am I going to feel likethat ALL the time once I settle into this?"He just looked at me for a minute before he said anything. I could seesomething in his eyes, but whether it was sympathy, pity, orexasperation, I couldn't tell. Finally he spoke."Holly, it IS some scary stuff. I wanted you to really FEEL what it isto BE Holly, but I think I was mistaken to activate it this late in theevening. I'd forgotten how overpowering the feelings that theprogramming can induce, can be at first. You remember that I told youthat this. Upon her confession to me that she had actually come while reading my writings, she made a request for me to enjoy the same sensations as I thought of her. The power of her suggestion, and the sense that she was greatly aroused thinking of me, satisfaction, struck me as very giving and caring. Sara was indeed sensitive and extremely desirable, the kind of companion I wanted in my life. Suggestions of her desire to share oral pleasures with me. Pleased me as my thoughts turned to her once again.My wife had gone to bed early, not an unusual event in my world. The dog was lazily sprawled at my wife's feet in the bedroom downstairs. My time for private reflection and enjoying my lover's request was now mine alone.Masturbation was my outlet to the sexual frustrations I lived with in her world. It sounded to me that my lover shared a similar self-fulfilling routine as well. My thoughts drifted to her as I imagined she would bring herself to climax, wishing that my hands and mouth were her.
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