It feels sore like I got some exercise. I mentioned this to R___ and he said “maybe you did some push-ups in your sleep.”“Right” I replied, or situps.” I remember after this conversation R___ sitting behind me in French class. His leg was bouncing up and down under the his so rapidly and hard that I felt the vibrations against my chair. I wondered if he knew what I meant and how crazy it drove me to have that jimmy leg so close to me. Really any sort of jostling gave me a degree of pleasure. I loved doing that to myself, and my journal continued with some of the negative effects I was noticing. Actually it’s the area I do sit ups with that are sore. I can think of two possibilities. Either this is what cramps feel like, or my nightly… exercises actually work muscles. If playing with myself so actively does produce muscles I should have a six pack by July. Actually I think that’s what is changing the shape of my butt. I’m mad. I was proud of my butt. . He happily obliged and we sat in his room. Him on the computer, me watching tv. After a while he got up and laid down next to me, I rubbed his arm as innocently as anyone would rub a family member. It was like he was sort of moaning while I did this. His skin was so soft and I wanted to keep touching him, I would have made an excuse to. he grabs my arm, and pulls me into a kiss... I don't know what to do. I laugh it off and he is content for a while before pulling me in again, still nervous, nothing happens. I cuddle up to him, closing the small gap between our bodies, laying my head on his arm. he makes me feel so tiny. he is 6'3 and i am 5'1. He pulls me in again I let it happen. Our lips brush, his tongue laps at mine. I smile so big. his lips are soft and he is gentle. I want more, I feel the lust building already, he is toxic. the naughty feeling of kissing my cousin is in fact incredible. i slide his hands up and down my body and my own up and down his. he grabs ahold of my.
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