I was riding my lawnmower out of Mrs Robinson's driveway. A black Nissan Altima with dark tinted windows stopped blocking my exit. The front passenger window rolls down. Excuse me sir. I hate to bother you but I just moved here 3 weeks ago about hmmm! [as she looks down the street] "10 doors down" and I was wondering how much you'll charge me to cut my grass? It's kinda high. I don't won't to be fined by H.O.A.! I never seen this lady in my life. Probably because I work 3rd shift and this was my 1st weekend off in 3 months. I said "I'll ride down and check it out". Ok thank you so much sir. As I was pulling into the lady's driveway, she was bent over grabbing for a box that was on the floor in the back of her car. Oh boy! That's got to be at least 60 inches of booty. [I say to myself] She had on some blue stretchy tights with a black Duke Blue Devils t-shirt that had 2 cuts in the center showing off her cleavage. At the right angle when she was bending. I'm a little chunky but my husband Dan doesn't mind since a lot of the extra weight is in all the right places.The Last Corral was really crowded just the way we like it. The country band that was playing was good and we were dancing up a storm. During a slow dance Dan told me he was horny and wanted to do something at the dance. It was wall to wall people and loud. Dan suggested a stall in the ladies room. I told him to get real and pointed to a long line of ladies waiting just to get into the ladies bathroom. Then he said how about a stall in the mens room. Now I knew he was starting to lose his mind. Dan explained that all though lots of men were going in and out, nobody would even notice me. I realize I'm not Dolly Parton, but I reminded him that 20 guys pissing into urinals are going to notice a 5'3" brunette with a chest my size and wearing a skirt, standing next to them. Dan laughed and said there was about 8 stalls beyond the urinals and we could slip into one of those. He.
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