About eight thirty or nine o'clock. I had gone in and started to rouse Rum. Robert came in about ten minutes later and arranged the bail in the right position.Rum had managed to produce his usual long thick erection and I was happy with the end of it in my mouth. I was trying to gage it so that I would still be able to take Rum out of my mouth when all was ready without scraping my teeth on Rum's delicate skin, but still have him hard enough that he would not start to retract when I stopped sucking and changed position.The time arrived. I had been slowly rubbing my love box with vaseline to lubricate it and to get my own juices flowing, not that that needed much encouragement as I was wet just thinking about the prospect. I was not afraid of injury. The sawness I could take if I had too. The pleasure of being filled far out weighed the pain after. Besides if the new position worked for my legs, and I was sure it would, the sawness should be greatly reduced.Everything was ready. I. I had no idea that it could hurt this bad to lose someone. All my hopes had turned to ashes in less then twenty minutes. All my joy had gone out of me like the lights on a Christmas tree during a power outage. I couldn’t look him in the face. I just couldn’t do it. He said ‘Michel, let me take you home.’ I followed him numbly to my car and he drove me back to my house. His radio crackled with news of this and that, but I didn’t hear it. I didn’t hear the sound of my engine or the other cars driving by. All I could hear was her voice telling me that she would see me after work. At one point she hesitated and I thought she was going to tell me that she loved me. She must have felt that it wasn’t right yet because she didn’t. She was always afraid to let herself be happy with me. Afraid that I wasn’t who I seemed to be. She was afraid to be hurt again. I couldn’t blame her. I started to cry again when I realized all the time we had lost. The first day she was truly mine she became lost.
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