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After a while he wanted to fuck me and I let him do it."Just like that, she let him do it. I was dumbstruck. How could she do this, she had chosen to break up with him instead of letting him fuck her barely a month previously. Why the sudden change?"Why did you let him do this? Are you not afraid of becoming pregnant?" No, you gave me the drops that will prevent this from happening. Therefore there is no danger of this happening."It was true, I had given her those imaginary drops twice now - ever since I had begun to fuck her. But how could she recall such a fact when she wasn't in a trance?I couldn't explain this and I began to realize that I still had a lot to learn about hypnotism. Could it be that she wanted to let him fuck her so much, that this part of her brain that control her trances memories was called upon to help her take a decision while she was no longer in a trance? Or could it be something completely different that I didn't understand?It no longer mattered now, the. I often wished that I was someone else, somewhere else. Books, movies, and TV were useful tools to facilitate my fantasies. Often in movies, I would place myself in the action. I was the heroine who overcame adversity and ended up with fame, fortune, and the guy. Over the years I sought counseling for my low self-esteem. Despite what some people might say, it helped me a lot. I just needed someone to listen to me, someone I could use as a sounding board to try and figure things out. With that help, I was resolute to transform myself into the person I wanted to be. What I found lacking in myself, personality wise, I changed. Slowly, that person I could not stand to look at in the mirror became a person I admired and adored. I feared that one man had undone all that work. My mind desperately tried to reason with me, tried to make everything better. It chided me on my depression. Things like, ‘You knew he would not give up his debauching ways for one woman,’ and ‘You only knew him for.
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